Saturday, March 30, 2019
Can Men and Women Be Friends?
Can Men and Wo custody Be Friends?In the federation that we know today, right the selfsame(prenominal) as in the society that was know 100 years ago, the idea that workforce and wo hands discharge just be friends has been discussed. Discussed during common conversation, explored in books, poetry, motion-picture shows, and any other genre of communication that female genitals be thought of. at that place is a host of ideas, definitions, opinions and facts that mustiness be considered to answer this question. in that location ar legion(predicate) challenges as to wherefore manpower and wowork force can be friends and just as many as to wherefore they cannot be just friends. My own life experiences have made me rattling interested in this very question. Can I be just a friend to a woman and likewise, can a woman just be a friend to me? There have been many times in my life when a current kindred has depended on this question a future kindred has depended on this quest ion, and a former(prenominal) relationship that has depended on this question. There is a possibility that custody and women can be friends. Certain words and ideas must be defined, stack must be communicate as to why acquaintances can work mingled with opposite sexes, and those friendships that do not work, must be dissected to target why it did not work. Answering this question and the on outlet enquiry that is creation d sensation is springy to forevery generation. An bonnie answer could prohibit yen or deliver a new pool of friends that could be made, provide a opposite structure of friendship and number of other things. It lead be beneficial to some(prenominal) sexes.Friendship is defined as one attached to another by respect or affection (Websters Dictionary, 1994). With this simplex definition, in that location should be no reason at all that men and women cannot be friends. As long as you respect the man or woman and feel affection for them, that should be the end of the story. Then why does it not eer work unwrap? Could it possibly be that men and women view the term friend differently? Do they have different reasons for friendship? Research suggests that friends must enjoy each others company, they must be useful to one another, and they must share a common load to the groovy (Bell, 1991). Women typically describe their friendship in terms of amour and emotional attachment. The recordistics the relationships amidst women is the willingness to share their feelings, thoughts, feelings and support. Mens relationships tend to focus around accredited activities and are more(prenominal) segmented (Bell, 1991). It is a relationship between men that serve as a buffer to stress and reduce falloff (Bell, 1991). It is more difficult to make a true friend that encompasses character traits that prove beneficial to both parties intents and purposes.Studies do suggest the friendships between men and women versus same sex friendships are much less common (Newton, 2008). These same studies also indicate that this is because have sexs of possessiveness and jealousy come into gyp just as they would in a relationship that is familiar in nature (Newton, 2008). gibe to Dr. Jane Greer, often, when men and women are friends, theyve already had a relationship and flaccid the intimate energy they used to generate it (2009). There are certain circumstances that would allow for men and women to just be friends. The main issue as to why beingness friends just does not work is the topic of sexual tension. In the movie When molest Met Sally, Harry informs Sally during their first collision that it is a fact the men and women cannot be friends. This is because one will always want to sleep with the other. There is simply no way of acquire around that. Perhaps a man or woman is friends with somebody of the opposite sex solely it could be that one of them is keeping the preference open for a sexual connection. Perhaps not right now, provided maybe in the future (Greer, 2009). The only answer memorizems to be to diffuse whatever sexual tension exists.The circumstances of the friendship between a man and woman has a lot to do with the triumph of a platonic relationship. Those friendships that succeed can because the people involved are in different stages of their lives, proximity to each other or they may be get hitched with. These are practicalities that may make having a romantic involvement hopeless (Greer, 2009). There of course are cases of friends who have different sexual orientations and hence the main problem of having sexual tension, simply does not exist. Because all friendships are built upon a mutual friendship and on compatibility, the potential for hallucination between a man and a woman being friends is definitely present. In order to diffuse that issue, it must be addressed in order for some sort of resolution to take place and from there, send away on (Greer, 2009). check to Michael Ferrel, there are four key obstacles to the victory of male-female friendships. The inability to define the relationship (Ferrell,). Men and women have to be honest about the relationship, whatever the reason. There must be honesty as to what the attraction is whether it was sexual, having common interests, etc. A fear of confronting feelings of sexual attraction (Farrell 1) is another obstacle that is stated. Whether or not the feeling are there, which there usually is, being suitable to bubble to your friend about them is vital to the success of the friendship. A third obstacle is the inability of both partners to see each other as equals and the fourth is societys response to a non-romantic relationship (Farrell, 2008). These are serious impediments for a cross-gender friendship to work but not so serious that it is impossible.When Harry Met Sally (1989) is a classic movie that explores the four key obstacles to the success of a cross-gender relationship. Harry and Sally were both very honest by means ofout their friendship and that is the only reason why such a relationship could work. It was definitely not love at first sight. It was a friendship of support through the entire story. According to research, men and women in platonic friendships enjoy many benefits from their relationships. Men bet to get more out of the cross-sex friendship. In a study by a psychologist in New York State, men rated cross-sex friendships higher in boilers suit quality than their same-sex friendships (Farrell, 2008). This can be for reasons of perhaps being able to more easily express their feelings and get a female perspective on things. The old adage that men are from Mars and women are from genus Venus eludes to how very different our deuce sexes are. Why not find out what the other team is thinking? These friendships can provide support, love and an opportunity to understand life through someone elses eyes.In watching When Harry Met Sally (1989), it is evident that are many different types of friendships at play through the entire movie. Although Harry and Sally did end up being romantically involved, that is not to say that that is how it had to happen. If Harry could not have married Sally or been romantically involved with her, he would take her as a friend and vice-a-versa. Each had their own friends that were of the same gender but as Harry said, there are things that I can talk to her about that I cant talk to you about, when speaking with his male friend. There are benefits as well as costs to every relationship but they disc overed a true friendship that ended with them fall in love and being married. Perhaps if more people in our society focused on friendship, there would be more success in the married lives of people today.Men and women can most certainly be just friends. There will be obstacles but through honesty, those obstacles can be overcome. I have a very good friend that happens to be the opposite sex. I have kn own her for over ten years and friendship is as far as it has ever gone. She offers support, enjoys activities that I do, compliments my personality, but I view her as a type of family member with no real sexual attraction. An obstacle that was addressed by Harry was that if you do get involved with someone romantically, they may have a problem with that person. Whats missing from our relationship (When Harry Met Sally, 1989)? That has been issue but only because to find a platonic relationship between a man and woman is so rare to find in a pure form. I would rather keep my friend than to be with someone who does not understand a real friendship. Through me dictum that, that shows that a true friendship can exist without false pretenses. There have also been times when I thought I was friends with a person only to soon realize that that is not what is really going to happen. Either I become attracted to her or she becomes attracted to me. In order to catch friends with that perso n, the sexual tension has been addressed and either we can remain friends or not. But that is not to say that it is impossible. When Harry Met Sally (1989) sends the message that two people can be just friends.Research has more often than not indicated that it is possible for these mixed-gender friendships to work. I was surprised to learn that this fact is supported. It is in every movie, television show and real life experiences that men and women cannot be friends, and yet, we now find out that they can. This research was purely based from research that was conducted in the United States. It would be incredibly interesting to have a cross-cultural perspective on this topic as relationships between men and women differ across our world.In no way should men not be friends with women or women not be friends with men simply because they do not think that it could be done or they are intercommunicate for something more than just the friendship. We can see through this research that age there are times that these friendships lead to more, those that succeed can find a true friend and have a lasting friendship that will provide other elements that they may not be able to receive from a same-sex friendship.
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